unsettling uncertainties and unknowns.

i am so sad inside.

yesterday, my co-workers and i received the news that our boss was going to close the shop. the last day our retail counter will be open is may 31. someone else will be renting the kitchen after that date, but they are allowing us to use the kitchen to do the weddings we have booked until the end of august. my boss had to email her brides she had booked for september and october saying that we are closing, but offered the name of someone else who would be able to fulfill the wedding day deserts. with that, the counter girls are out of a job as of may 31. i still have a job thursday-saturday until the end of august. if i heard correctly, my boss is going to pay me roughly what my paychecks are now, even though i will be working less hours because i'm "worth it" according to her and her sister (my other boss).

while one of my co-workers and myself have complained about our jobs and have considered looking for new ones, we definitely didn't like this happened the way it did. the unknown scares us.

and with that, i will be submitting my 60 day notice to my apartment manager. i've already talked to my mom about moving home and she's okay with that. she's going to let me "live" in most of the space on the second floor in her house once i clean out my old room and she reorganizes things. i'm fairly certain she'll pay for movers to move my things out of my 4th floor studio, but i'll probably have to pay for a storage unit. ideally i won't be living at home for more than, oh, six months. but the unknown of how much money i'll actually be bringing in mixed with finding a job that is flexible with my school schedule... who knows.

i'm deeply saddened that everything is going to be gone soon. my heart is a little broken. my mom is giving me just enough pity to make me feel like my feelings are valid, but not enough to make me feel like i'm a victim (which is a good thing). danny, however, hasn't really given much thought into how i am feeling about leaving MCC and the uncertainties that are soon to follow. i'm considering doing some side business catering once my run at MCC is over. i asked danny what he though and all he had to say was that i would be overwhelmed. my mom came the suggestion from a more practical angle, questioning where i would do this, how, the money, etc.

i should have known something crappy was going to happen. i started making plans for a vacation this summer because we were supposed to be closed july 3-7th. i wanted to get some tattoos that i've been wanting for years. i even started to make a dent in my credit card debt. poof. all gone. i can't even justify getting my small tattoo because that's at least $80 i could have saved. being an adult sucks.

i guess we'll see what happens though. for now, i'll just keep on truckin' with school and what is left of my job before it becomes super duper part time.