down and out.

i'm having a rough moment.
the kind where i get real down and out on myself.
because i'm comparing myself…
shall i explain?

my friends from oshkosh have jobs working in the environmental field or went off to grad school (one just finished her masters in chemistry and is currently traveling around europe). and then there's me, just bumming around working in bakeries and retail jobs. my friend andrew just applied to the DNR in madison and got the job. he'll be moving from fond du lac to madison sometime next month.

and then i think about me. i'm probably going to be working two part-time jobs for a while. IF everything goes as planned, i won't graduate until 2017. and things rarely go as planned for me. plus i'll have to take the nursing exam to actually become a RN. and i live at home. and i'm just so unhappy right now.

when i was sitting for two hours between classes, i was trying to focus on all the things i love, really love. i love my cats (marla is on my shoulder, purring loudly. jasper is creeping his way up my side). i love ava and liam. i love them so much. and that's basically where my love ended.

i don't know. it's just a rough day i guess.
the weather changed.

SO.

MCC closed august 2nd.

my summer classes ended on august 15th.

my fall classes started september 2nd.

i started a new job today.
about that:
i don't particularly care for it. it's at a donut and pizza shop in tosa. i work behind the counter. basically i'm supposed to fill your donut orders and make fancy drinks. i'm scheduled 2 to 3 days a week for 4-6 hours (usually). i make $8 an hour (i think? no one ever told me and i was too dumb to ask before i accepted the job). i got $26 in tips today so that was kind of awesome. but i don't know how long i'll be staying there.

i had a job interview at honeypie this past wednesday. i'm going back this coming tuesday to work in the kitchen for about an hour so they can see what i can do. if i get this job and it pays more, i think i might have to take it. my other option is to try to work both and go to school.

i'm also considering applying at the pabst for event staffing.

school is rough. none of my classes are easy breezy. or even a little easy. i have five. i'm repeating math. my tuesdays/thursdays consist of four classes from 1230 to 645.

danny and i went down to chicago this past weekend. kind of a tradition now- the weekend before my classes start… we've done it two or three times now. it was nice. we went to the science and industry museum and did a lot of walking around the city. found some good places to eat. took the bus and train a few times. i picked up four new records, some cupcakes, and we stopped at ikea on the way back. a good trip.

it's friday night, quarter to 9. i'm about to start on some homework. i was ready for bed before 8pm just because it was so damn dark out. i love fall, but i'm not ready. i barely even got a summer.